I am hoping to have this series finished in time for Chaturthi, (next week, yikes!), as it's something of an anniversary of several things. I also don't want to let this sit without an update again for so long, I hope to do better about keeping this journal.
Not a whole lot changed for me in the next five years or so. I didn't go searching to learn anything new and for a long time didn't practice anything except living and making a life for myself. Upon graduation I decided to stay in my home area instead of pursue a career because my paternal grandfather became very ill and the family wanted to care for him in his own home until no longer possible - but that meant everyone would have to chip in. Family means a lot to me, and the choice was an easy one.
Having spent most of my life up until then studying and learning, I decided it was high time I had some fun and something of a social life. I got my bartender's license and over the next five years began to work as a free-lance bartender at clubs and events. Eventually I landed a regular position and became the night supervisor at a good pub and night-stop in the city. I did well and had good fun, but eventually this lifestyle started to wear thin.
During this time I was able to travel a bit more from time to time, mostly in the Americas this time. I did end up learning more about Mayan and Aztec cultures, but not because I set out to. Eventually though, it helped to reawaken a sense that I was missing something. That and one of my Roommates who was heavily into Hot Yoga - a version of Yoga Asanas as only exercise, and excellent exercise at that, which was quite a fad at the time. She got me into it too, and I began to realize I was missing many things from when I was younger and wondering what had happened. I felt as if I didn't really know who the person who had been living my life the past several years was, I didn't really recognize her.
Then the first of two major events changed things. I was in a bad accident, I am told I was technically dead for a short time. I didn't have any visions or near death experiences, and that didn't bother me. But, I was a different person once again, I felt almost renewed when I was released from the Hospital. It was like what had died was the lost person I became after graduating college. I didn't so much have a direction, but I knew I would find it as long as I made changes and pushed forward - a conviction I hadn't had in years. I changed a lot of things within the next 6 months: my career track and most of the people I associated with, and within the next year after that my spouse and I planned, purchased a home, and moved.
5 years later I got very sick. It turned out to be food poisoning, but not a kind that would make most people ill with more than what would feel like a 24 hour stomach bug. It took stronger hold in me because of something else that was happening, which I had been ignoring. Swelling joints, decreased mobility in general but worse on some days, poor sleep and chronic aching. Illnesses on and off where I never had problems before, and then this food poisoning infection that put me on short term disability until the doctors could figure out what was keeping me so ill. Once that was treated and some symptoms stayed, I was sent to a Rheumatologist. I still see him today.
It was no longer possible to work the crazy schedule I had been, in fact doing so was making things worse. But my employer decided that meant they should demote me and cut my pay, but still have me do the same job. So I found a new job. I applied my skills and experience and a good reference from a nice peer and once again began a whole new career in clinical research, and at a higher rate of pay.
I had always enjoyed the sciences, particularly physics, but it wasn't a direction I had been encouraged to pursue in my teens and as a young adult. Now I was finding a new joy in learning not only the scientific field I was now working in, but also in reacquainting myself with Physics, which was a whole new field by this time. I put more into this new direction than I had put into anything in the last ten years. I put as much energy into embracing and learning in these areas as I had put into my search for the name of my faith when I was younger. In this time I also got married and traveled back to Cincinnati for the first time since I was 12 to visit my now declining maternal grandfather. And in my time in that job I also met one of those people who is immediately familiar, like an old friend or sibling, and we became good friends.
While in Ohio, I spent some time with one of my cousins - second eldest on that side after me - who I also hadn't seen since I was a child. He and I used to be inseparable when we were together, it was amazing to see him grown and with a partner of his own. We went out to dinner and spent some time in the town center walking through shops, when I stopped and stared at a statue... Sri Ganesha. I hadn't seen him in some time. My cousin noticed and when I turned away he quietly bought the statue for me. When I turned, I was stopped by the sight of another statue, one that was a Buddhist representation of Sri Shiva. I felt drawn to it, but I wasn't sure why as this was not a God I was very familiar with. My spouse, in cahoots with my cousin, quietly purchased that one for me. I received them as surprise parting gifts when it was time for us to go home. It was doubly surprising for me because I hadn't been religious or displayed any kind of faith at all since college - a long time ago by then. But I definitely felt the gentle presence in both images, like meeting an old friend after long absence, and I treasured it.
Sri Ganapati and Sri Shiva had pride of place in our living space back home, overseeing our daily lives. For a long time I only kept them and the cloth they sat on clean. As time went on though, I found it was nice to sweeten the house with some incense or scented candle, even a tart or two, which I enjoyed placing before them after wafting some scent in their direction. In time I grew tired of some of the medications I was being issued and began to learn about meditation as a form of natural stress, inflammation and pain management. I slowly began to practice on and off again.
My maternal grandfather had always been a travel nut like me, and his favorite animals were elephants. He felt he identified with them. He had quite a collection of them from various countries. I was always fond of them, but I had never expressed that to him that I can remember and there were others who were more attached to them. But when he passed from this life, his collection was left to me, to my surprise. I surrounded Sri Ganesha and Shiva with them, creating something of a setting for them. It felt like the perfect place.
Over the next few years my other half, a vegetarian since young adulthood and a staunch disliker of most foods and the lack of variety in the Western vegetarian diet, began to discover Indian cuisine and start trying new recipees and suggesting new restaurants - this was also partly driven by no longer being near a great little Dhaba we had lived close to for years, and partly by an Indian grocery opening near our home at the time. From there we both began to learn about and be drawn closer to the cultures and idea of great Mother India.
Eventually we tired of the City, (something I never thought possible), and moved out to the suburbs to be a bit closer to nature. It wasn't an easy move, but it was a good one. And then, my new yet old friend, who also happened to be Indian, invited us to come to India and stay and travel with her. It started with an invitation to a wedding, but the wedding was in just a few months so there was no way we could manage it. She understood but insisted we come the following year instead and insisted she would be insulted if we didn't. When saving for such a huge trip in only one year became problematic, she insisted on helping us. And in the background she and her sisters were quietly planning an amazing trip across the country for us all. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve such a friend or such incredible generosity, but I am incredibly thankful to whatever incarnation generated that seed, and too grateful to my friend for words to describe.
The year passed before we knew it and the last few months leading up to our departure were a whirlwind. Over the last several years my offerings to Sri Ganesha became more frequent and intentional, and in that last year I began to finally practice meditation again on a regular basis. My spouse looked up and began playing a Ganesha mantra quite often. We both learned it and began singing it when there were troubles involving our trip - for instance with our visas. Always it seemed to help. It was the first Hindu mantra I learned. I looked up and listened to a few others, but that was the one that really stuck with us, perhaps it was what was needed just then.
During that year, our oldest friend, our cat Lillith, was deteriorating in health. She was very old for a cat, I had adopted her only a few months after graduating college. It had been 17 years, and she had been with the both of us through everything. She was a mothering personality, always somehow knowing when someone wasn't feeling well - physically or emotionally - and ready to curl up and cuddle and purr them to sleep. We didn't see the extreme progression of it at the time, you just don't see it as readily when you live with someone every day. I look at the picture of her from the first post in this blog, and I am shocked at how sick, bony and old she looks. She didn't look that way to me at the time, but I see it so easily now. We were very worried about her because we had a feeling she wouldn't survive our month long absence.
We needn't have worried, as it turns out. The Lord of Timings was looking out of all of us I think. Perhaps especially her. I won't rehash that post and its story, but I will say it felt like she was letting us go.
I found out after we returned home that the Statue my cousin had gifted me with so many years ago and which stood watching over our small family all that time, is a representation of Mahaganapati and is also Dakshinamurti.
Om Gam Ganapataye Namo Namaha.
(To Be Continued...)
First Post
Second Post
Not a whole lot changed for me in the next five years or so. I didn't go searching to learn anything new and for a long time didn't practice anything except living and making a life for myself. Upon graduation I decided to stay in my home area instead of pursue a career because my paternal grandfather became very ill and the family wanted to care for him in his own home until no longer possible - but that meant everyone would have to chip in. Family means a lot to me, and the choice was an easy one.
Having spent most of my life up until then studying and learning, I decided it was high time I had some fun and something of a social life. I got my bartender's license and over the next five years began to work as a free-lance bartender at clubs and events. Eventually I landed a regular position and became the night supervisor at a good pub and night-stop in the city. I did well and had good fun, but eventually this lifestyle started to wear thin.
During this time I was able to travel a bit more from time to time, mostly in the Americas this time. I did end up learning more about Mayan and Aztec cultures, but not because I set out to. Eventually though, it helped to reawaken a sense that I was missing something. That and one of my Roommates who was heavily into Hot Yoga - a version of Yoga Asanas as only exercise, and excellent exercise at that, which was quite a fad at the time. She got me into it too, and I began to realize I was missing many things from when I was younger and wondering what had happened. I felt as if I didn't really know who the person who had been living my life the past several years was, I didn't really recognize her.
Then the first of two major events changed things. I was in a bad accident, I am told I was technically dead for a short time. I didn't have any visions or near death experiences, and that didn't bother me. But, I was a different person once again, I felt almost renewed when I was released from the Hospital. It was like what had died was the lost person I became after graduating college. I didn't so much have a direction, but I knew I would find it as long as I made changes and pushed forward - a conviction I hadn't had in years. I changed a lot of things within the next 6 months: my career track and most of the people I associated with, and within the next year after that my spouse and I planned, purchased a home, and moved.
5 years later I got very sick. It turned out to be food poisoning, but not a kind that would make most people ill with more than what would feel like a 24 hour stomach bug. It took stronger hold in me because of something else that was happening, which I had been ignoring. Swelling joints, decreased mobility in general but worse on some days, poor sleep and chronic aching. Illnesses on and off where I never had problems before, and then this food poisoning infection that put me on short term disability until the doctors could figure out what was keeping me so ill. Once that was treated and some symptoms stayed, I was sent to a Rheumatologist. I still see him today.
It was no longer possible to work the crazy schedule I had been, in fact doing so was making things worse. But my employer decided that meant they should demote me and cut my pay, but still have me do the same job. So I found a new job. I applied my skills and experience and a good reference from a nice peer and once again began a whole new career in clinical research, and at a higher rate of pay.
I had always enjoyed the sciences, particularly physics, but it wasn't a direction I had been encouraged to pursue in my teens and as a young adult. Now I was finding a new joy in learning not only the scientific field I was now working in, but also in reacquainting myself with Physics, which was a whole new field by this time. I put more into this new direction than I had put into anything in the last ten years. I put as much energy into embracing and learning in these areas as I had put into my search for the name of my faith when I was younger. In this time I also got married and traveled back to Cincinnati for the first time since I was 12 to visit my now declining maternal grandfather. And in my time in that job I also met one of those people who is immediately familiar, like an old friend or sibling, and we became good friends.
While in Ohio, I spent some time with one of my cousins - second eldest on that side after me - who I also hadn't seen since I was a child. He and I used to be inseparable when we were together, it was amazing to see him grown and with a partner of his own. We went out to dinner and spent some time in the town center walking through shops, when I stopped and stared at a statue... Sri Ganesha. I hadn't seen him in some time. My cousin noticed and when I turned away he quietly bought the statue for me. When I turned, I was stopped by the sight of another statue, one that was a Buddhist representation of Sri Shiva. I felt drawn to it, but I wasn't sure why as this was not a God I was very familiar with. My spouse, in cahoots with my cousin, quietly purchased that one for me. I received them as surprise parting gifts when it was time for us to go home. It was doubly surprising for me because I hadn't been religious or displayed any kind of faith at all since college - a long time ago by then. But I definitely felt the gentle presence in both images, like meeting an old friend after long absence, and I treasured it.
Sri Ganapati and Sri Shiva had pride of place in our living space back home, overseeing our daily lives. For a long time I only kept them and the cloth they sat on clean. As time went on though, I found it was nice to sweeten the house with some incense or scented candle, even a tart or two, which I enjoyed placing before them after wafting some scent in their direction. In time I grew tired of some of the medications I was being issued and began to learn about meditation as a form of natural stress, inflammation and pain management. I slowly began to practice on and off again.
My maternal grandfather had always been a travel nut like me, and his favorite animals were elephants. He felt he identified with them. He had quite a collection of them from various countries. I was always fond of them, but I had never expressed that to him that I can remember and there were others who were more attached to them. But when he passed from this life, his collection was left to me, to my surprise. I surrounded Sri Ganesha and Shiva with them, creating something of a setting for them. It felt like the perfect place.
Over the next few years my other half, a vegetarian since young adulthood and a staunch disliker of most foods and the lack of variety in the Western vegetarian diet, began to discover Indian cuisine and start trying new recipees and suggesting new restaurants - this was also partly driven by no longer being near a great little Dhaba we had lived close to for years, and partly by an Indian grocery opening near our home at the time. From there we both began to learn about and be drawn closer to the cultures and idea of great Mother India.
Eventually we tired of the City, (something I never thought possible), and moved out to the suburbs to be a bit closer to nature. It wasn't an easy move, but it was a good one. And then, my new yet old friend, who also happened to be Indian, invited us to come to India and stay and travel with her. It started with an invitation to a wedding, but the wedding was in just a few months so there was no way we could manage it. She understood but insisted we come the following year instead and insisted she would be insulted if we didn't. When saving for such a huge trip in only one year became problematic, she insisted on helping us. And in the background she and her sisters were quietly planning an amazing trip across the country for us all. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve such a friend or such incredible generosity, but I am incredibly thankful to whatever incarnation generated that seed, and too grateful to my friend for words to describe.
The year passed before we knew it and the last few months leading up to our departure were a whirlwind. Over the last several years my offerings to Sri Ganesha became more frequent and intentional, and in that last year I began to finally practice meditation again on a regular basis. My spouse looked up and began playing a Ganesha mantra quite often. We both learned it and began singing it when there were troubles involving our trip - for instance with our visas. Always it seemed to help. It was the first Hindu mantra I learned. I looked up and listened to a few others, but that was the one that really stuck with us, perhaps it was what was needed just then.
During that year, our oldest friend, our cat Lillith, was deteriorating in health. She was very old for a cat, I had adopted her only a few months after graduating college. It had been 17 years, and she had been with the both of us through everything. She was a mothering personality, always somehow knowing when someone wasn't feeling well - physically or emotionally - and ready to curl up and cuddle and purr them to sleep. We didn't see the extreme progression of it at the time, you just don't see it as readily when you live with someone every day. I look at the picture of her from the first post in this blog, and I am shocked at how sick, bony and old she looks. She didn't look that way to me at the time, but I see it so easily now. We were very worried about her because we had a feeling she wouldn't survive our month long absence.
We needn't have worried, as it turns out. The Lord of Timings was looking out of all of us I think. Perhaps especially her. I won't rehash that post and its story, but I will say it felt like she was letting us go.
I found out after we returned home that the Statue my cousin had gifted me with so many years ago and which stood watching over our small family all that time, is a representation of Mahaganapati and is also Dakshinamurti.
Om Gam Ganapataye Namo Namaha.
(To Be Continued...)
First Post
Second Post
Just a while ago while driving home I was marveling how Bhagavan seems to always find a way to reach us. I do not have any doubt that it is not a coincidence that you received your Grandfather's elephants when he departed. You are being watched over, guided...and what wonderful helpers you have been given. <3
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