Friday, April 25, 2014

A Little About Me, & This Blog

I tend to be terrible at lead-ins and segues, and apparently it's usually best to begin at the beginning...

So, hi there. *waves*  Call me Nora, or if you know me by another name feel free to use that, too.  But play nice.  =)  In all honesty, I have no idea who I think will be reading this.  I don't expect to really draw a readership, I plan mostly to be talking to myself.  That's really what this blog will be about, me exploring my own path now that's I've found it, and putting some of it down in writing.  To keep track of and review, to share with others if there is interest, and maybe to reach out a little to others should anyone ever take interest and read.

I am terrible at lead-ins, and also at these kinds of intro posts.  What does one say about oneself?  The exercise seems largely futile to me at times.  The interwebz being largely anonymous I could say practically anything, how would anyone know what is true and what isn't?  There is nothing special about me that I can speak about at any length, I am unremarkable in pretty much every way, as are my experiences in this life.  Many other have experiences and paths so similar to mine it seems silly to go on as if I'm some kind of unique snowflake.  Intro posts seem fraught with obstacles of Ego, something I am trying to learn to strip away.  But all this said, it's probably a good lesson to attempt to talk about the person I am in this birth without ego.  And without context as to who this person writing is, it becomes difficult to have a dialogue with anyone, and perhaps some day I might have a few readers and friends to interact with.  So here goes:

My body is female of north western European ancestry, currently nearing 40 years of age.  My hair is a dark blonde to light brown depending on the season, my eyes are green, height on the shorter end of average, and arthritis issues that cause me to occasionally walk with a cane.

I was born and raised in the greater Boston area of Massachusetts, USA, and still live there.  I was adopted as an infant.  I am married, to a person of the same gender as I am.  We have been friends for 22 years - more than half of both of our lives as this point - partners for 17 years, and married for 9 and a half years.  I am not gay, I am bi.  I have always found both genders beautiful in form, for me what makes beauty and who I love are the people inside, not outside.  We both chose long ago not to have children, for many reasons.  I knew I would have no children by the time I was 12, not that I don't love and enjoy children, I do.  I just knew it was not in the cards for me and that has never changed, though more reasons have been added over time.

I have a degree in the fine arts and I once considered a career in music.  I love nature and grew up camping, hiking and mountain climbing.  I still love hiking and long walks, and am often at my most content and quiet when outdoors.  I love gardening and digging my hands into soil.  I love to read, particularly philosophy and the sciences.  I also grew up around computers as the first home computers were being developed, and enjoy building and playing with systems and gaming.   I love to travel when I have the money to, and enjoy learning new things.  I adore animals of all kinds, I've cared for many friends over the years from many species, and even phyla, and they've convinced me of how little we humans understand intelligence and sentience, no matter what we think we know.

Like most people of my generation, especially those with degrees in the arts, I am not using my degree professionally at all, though to be honest I am not sure I expected to.  Instead I work in medical research, currently in IT.  I say currently because so far I seem to change careers every 6 to 8 years.

I've been kind of adrift for most of my life, looking for a place that I belong and what I am supposed to be doing.  I cannot remember a time when I have felt like I "fit" anywhere, though I've spent much of this life so far trying to fit into other people's boxes.  I am one of those that doesn't even really fit in with misfits and who has few real and long-term friends.  I tend towards social awkwardness in even small groups and am fairly solitary.  I am content this way.  If this life had been born to another culture or another time, perhaps I would have ended up a hermit of some kind.  I sometimes dream of dropping everything, taking off, and getting a cabin in the woods somewhere.  But there is family and commitments and I value both those I count family and the promises I make, and so I'm stuck for the time being.

I've called this blog "Another American Śaivite", because there seem to be a growing number of people in this country finding themselves at the feet of Sri Śiva.  Many more are coming back around to Sanatana Dharma in general.  I have only recently realized my own way, after spending most of my life so far looking for the system of belief that matched what I knew to be true.  Frankly, I gave up.  In a manner of speaking, it was God who found me in the end, and woke me back up.  Now, I am learning to understand I need no box to fit in at all.  But that's another story, and while it's part of who I am and thus pertinent to this post, it will make this post too long. Here's the link to it.

~Namaste